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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29816802">Ice Burns and Water Leaves Scars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Monster_Facade/pseuds/Blue_Monster_Facade'>Blue_Monster_Facade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Burns, Depersonalization, Derealization, Dissociation, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Injuries, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo's Memory Problems, Ranboo's memory book, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Scars, Steve the Polar Bear - Freeform, Sweet, implied/referenced eating disorder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:01:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,332</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29816802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Monster_Facade/pseuds/Blue_Monster_Facade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ranboo was walking back from the L'Manberg ruins after waking there in his panic room mid-day. Exhausted, he collapses, and Techno and Phil decide to have a talk with him. </p>
<p>Talking about thoughts, feelings, and fears all while two men learn just what their teen neighbor deals with as a traumatized enderman hybrid.</p>
<p>(i.e. I'm bad at summaries and this is longer than I wanted it to be)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ranboo &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Technoblade, Ranboo &amp; Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>406</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ice Burns and Water Leaves Scars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey there, this is going to act as the trigger warning!!!!!! This fic goes a bit in depth on a person's feelings when dealing with dissociation and depersonalization so stay safe and do not read if this can potentially trigger you!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The cold unforgiving air of the arctic stung against tear-stained eyes, burning like the rest of the teen's skin as the snowflakes delicately dance their way from the sky to the earth. Even with his armour on, water seeped through the cracks, soaking his suit and clinging to his thin frame and the fresh burns. Ranboo was exhausted, both from sobbing for gods knows how long and walking from the ruins of L'Manberg to his home in the snow biome, no Nether travel whatsoever, in drenched clothing. In the back of his mind, he was aware that this isn't his fault considering he doesn't enderwalk willingly. Even still, the young hybrid feels too ashamed of his situation to call for help from Techno or Phil, fearful of their reactions as to why he's requesting their assistance in the first place.</p>
<p>He doesn't know how long he's been walking, but he knows it's been long when his legs give out and his body crumples into the soft but painful snow beneath him. The cold snow does nothing to numb the pain of the burning despite the lack of feeling the teen has in his entire body. Completely drained from the travel and the breakdown he had, Ranboo's eyes droop down before closing completely and he loses consciousness. As his limp body gradually disappears underneath a new sheet of snow, the burn wounds etched into his skin worsen, heavy armour pushing his water-doused suit harshly against them.</p>
<p>In a warm cottage nearby, a piglin hybrid finishes braiding golden clasps into his long flowing pink hair, humming a small tune to himself as a winged man brews tea on the stove, mumbling his thoughts in a long-forgotten language. Getting up from his armchair, Technoblade slipped on his heavy cloak and makes his way to the door, slipping on his marginally heeled boots and grabbing his polished axe laying against the wall. He looks toward Phil, providing a simple nod at the door to indicate where he plans on going, receiving a smile in return.</p>
<p>Techno needed some spruce wood and only spruce wood. So when he nearly tripped over a random pile of snow and saw a leg, it's fair to assume he was not prepared for anything but. The leg certainly startled him, but when the voices started screaming about Ranboo, the piglin hybrid knew exactly who it belonged to. Techno rushed to dig the boy out from under the snow, taking note of the burns covering any and all visible skin. Disregarding his previous plans, he hoisted Ranboo into his arms and darted back to the house.</p>
<p>Technoblade did his best to ignore the tightness in his chest as he carried the unconscious enderman hybrid to the cottage, worry flooding his senses. How long had the teen been in the snow and why was he in it in the first place? The questions remained unanswered as the pink-haired man burst through the door, startling Phil who was sat reading by the fireplace. Not even bothering to explain, Techno quickly makes his way to the dining table and shoves everything that was on top of it to the floor, gently placing Ranboo down atop instead. Phil gets up as soon as he sees Ranboo and his current condition and practically runs to the table.</p>
<p>While both men busy themselves with getting items for Ranboo's wounds, Phil mutters, "Techno, what the fuck happened?! Why's Ranboo like this?!"</p>
<p>"How should I know, I found him like this! He was-" Techno pauses for a second to grab a regeneration potion, "-he was buried underneath like 5 inches of snow, Phil! I don't even know how long he'd been there, man!"</p>
<p>At this point, both men have found everything they needed to properly treat the boy lying injured on the table. A bit calmer than they were when Techno originally brought Ranboo in, they get to work on healing the burns and wounds. The piglin hybrid went straight to wrapping the wounds and wiping them down with a cloth soaked in the correct potions. Phil got to work on stripping off the soaked clothing items and encased the teen in a warm and dry towel, being ever so careful with the burned skin.</p>
<p>"Jesus Christ, how long was he out there for?" Phil glances at Techno before going back to what he was doing.</p>
<p>Techno shrugs his shoulders, wrapping a fresh bandage across Ranboo's chest and shoulders where the burn soothing balm was applied. "Beats me, I don't know when it started snowin'. He must've been out for a while though based on how bad these burns are."</p>
<p>The winged man hummed in agreement, beginning to treat the burns on the enderman hybrid's legs and feet.</p>
<p> "Guess so, only makes sense. Do you have any idea why he was out there in the first place?" Techno shakes his head.</p>
<p>"No, I just found him completely alone and buried under the snow when I was headin' to the forest. Nothin' indicated as to why he was there." Phil responds with a tired sigh.</p>
<p>"Fair enough. We'll have to ask him about it when he wakes, I guess."</p>
<p>The rest of the time, they're working silently to heal Ranboo, Phil slipping some sweatpants and a sweatshirt onto him once everything had been bandaged. The panicked atmosphere settled into relief once more, and the two men sat together in front of the fireplace. Steve, Techno's polar bear, acted as a pillow as he slept behind them on the floor. Every now and then, Phil would check up on Ranboo, taking note of the lack of new scaring on his face and neck and making sure he was still breathing. At some point, the winged man drifts off to sleep, Techno taking upon the task of checking on the enderman hybrid until he too nods off.</p>
<p>When the sun rises, so does Phil. He walks into the kitchen to prepare breakfast and to check on Ranboo, who is still lying unconscious atop the dining table, covered by a blanket. With a small sigh, the blonde man gets to work cooking up some eggs. At some point during this, Techno wakes up and slightly stumbles groggily into the kitchen.</p>
<p>Phil doesn't look up from the pan when he asks the pink-haired man, "Ey mate, sleep well?"</p>
<p>"About the usual, Phil. Maybe worse because the whole...thing," the piglin hybrid responds, sparing a glance at the sleeping teen on the table.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I get that. We should probably move him if we don't wake him up."</p>
<p>A yawn and a small nod from Techno is all Phil gets as an agreement. The hybrid gently shakes Ranboo in an attempt to wake him, and when two heterochromatic eyes flutter open, he knows it worked. With a groan, the enderman hybrid sluggishly sits up, muscles twitching. Phil switches off the stove and walks over to Techno and Ranboo.</p>
<p>"Hey mate, how're you feelin'?" The teen turns his head to look at the winged man, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.</p>
<p>"Okay, I guess? I feel...fine? I mean, my muscles feel kinda sore but I also woke up on a table covered in bandages, so I think I know why."</p>
<p>Phil chuckles. "That's good. Feelin' hungry at all? I made breakfast if you feel you can keep it down."</p>
<p>Ranboo thinks for a second before nodding. "Breakfast sounds good. I don't feel nauseous at all, and I..don't really know if I ate yesterday or not."</p>
<p>It's not uncommon for Ranboo to forget simple things like meals, deeming them too unimportant to write in his memory book. Techno and Phil have taken it upon themselves to make sure the teen eats whenever he enters the cottage and before leaving his own home. They always keep extra food in case of an emergency, such as when the young hybrid forgot to eat for four days and fainted while building with Techno. It's an issue that they're trying to solve, but at the moment, it's not their first priority.</p>
<p>Ranboo slowly slides off the table and into a chair Techno pulled out for him while Phil fills three plates up with eggs. The piglin hybrid brings the plates and utensils to the table, setting one of the plates down in front of the teen and placing the fork in his hand. Once the table is set and they're all sitting down, the three of them begin to eat, making some small talk and ignoring the elephant in the room. Once they finish breakfast, the mood changes into a cautious tension, and Phil clears his throat.</p>
<p>"So eh, Ranboo, what happened last night? You were practically covered in burns. I thought you wore armour to prevent that sort of thing?" Ranboo's ears flick back at the older man's words, anxiety visible on the teen's face.</p>
<p>"I can't- I don't know. I just barely remember that my suit was wet and the thing- how it works, really, is that- the armour stops it from getting wet in the first place. But uh, once my suit actually gets wet, the armour kinda makes it- well, it makes it a lot worse. It pushes the wet fabric harder into my skin-" Techno and Phil both wince, "-and it uh, it burns. I'm not exactly sure how my- how my suit got wet since I really only remember it just sorta...being?</p>
<p>"I can't really like- I can't really explain it coherently, or in a way that'll make sense enough for you guys to understand, I guess? Um...but, I like, uh, woke up? In the middle of the day, middle of L'manburg- or uh, the ruins of it? And, um, I started walking home- here- and the burns were bad by that time, I think?" </p>
<p>Techno jumps in, nodding in confirmation. "Yeah, I assume so. The burns on your face from your tears and the areas with the most pressure put on them by the armour were far worse than the rest of you." The young hybrid hums in acknowledgement.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm pretty sure- I'm pretty sure I was crying. In my...in my panic room, maybe? I don't know for sure but, I was definitely crying at some point. Anyway, I think when I was walking back, I like, passed out or something? And uh, yeah, that's about it, I'm pretty sure."</p>
<p>"What were you doin' in the ruins? You always tell us when you're goin' somewhere so you don't get in situations like this, mate," Phil questions, concern seeping into his speech.</p>
<p>"If- If I tell you, will you promise you won't- you won't be upset?" Techno and Phil look from Ranboo to each other, wondering where this was going.</p>
<p>"I mean, sure, yeah," The pink-haired man replied, confusion evident in his voice.</p>
<p>With a shaky breath, Ranboo begins his explanation. "Alright, so, uh, I do this- this thing that I call 'enderwalking' and, um, basically, it's kinda like sleepwalking? But uh, not exactly. I go into this state and I don't- I don't remember anything I do while I'm in it, and I kinda speak enderman language? Um, Ender, I believe it's called. Anyway, yeah. This is kind of a problem cause well, I hear this uh- this voice? Dream's voice. Um, and the voice kinda- well, it told me that I helped Dream blow up the community house? And that I like, um, helped him with gathering TNT for the grid thing? But in the enderwalking state, which is why it's not written in my- in my memory book, and why I have no like, recollection of it all.</p>
<p>"Most of the time, my enderwalking has just sorta lead me to my panic room in- near the ruins, and I just kinda have uh, breakdowns or whatever-" Phil decides to cut in.</p>
<p>"Breakdowns? What'd you mean by that? Like, do you mean your enderman half takes more control or...?" Ranboo shakes his head.</p>
<p>"No, no, I mean like, mental-emotional breakdowns. Like, panic attacks 'n stuff. That sort of...breakdowns." The teen tries to shrink in on himself, slouching down and pulling his legs in closer, fingers gripping the underside of the chair.</p>
<p>He felt embarrassed, ashamed even, to admit to two of the strongest people on the server that he can't handle his emotions; that he breaks down by the smallest of things like not being able to remember if and what he ate that day. In Ranboo's mind, being triggered into a panic by a silly little smiley face is embarrassing. He never wanted to tell anyone about it, not even Tubbo despite the two telling each other everything. He felt that his trauma is pathetic, not even having been here for the first couple of wars that continue to haunt the teens and young adults on the server. He felt like he was overreacting about this whole ordeal, and it made him feel disgusting.</p>
<p>In a gentle voice, Phil asks, "Do you know why you have these breakdowns?" Ranboo flinches, the thought of 'why' seemingly painful.</p>
<p>"I...I have an idea, yeah. It's just, well, I don't want you guys to hate me." Techno snorts.</p>
<p>"We teamed up with Dream to blow up L'Manberg with withers and TNT, there isn't much we could hate you for. Besides, from what I'm hearing, you're not doin' any of this willingly, are you?" </p>
<p>"No, I'm- I'm not. I- so it's like, the enderwalking state helped Dream a lot, but I really don't- I really didn't want to. But when I'm in the enderwalking state, it's kinda like I'm...programmed to help him? And I don't remember a single thing. It's normal for me not to remember things, yeah, but, I write the things I do down because I know this. But with this, I can't- I don't write anything down, and I don't- I have no clue what I did." </p>
<p>Ranboo's body shakes, panic seeping into his bloodstream, and his eyes well up with stinging tears.</p>
<p>"It's- it's terrifying, not knowing what you've done. I'll close my eyes in my house and suddenly I'm in the middle of- of nowhere, and my tools will be- they'll have way less durability, and I don't- I don't know why! I'm scared constantly about hurting you guys or hurting Tubbo or- or hurting everyone-" The teen is hyperventilating at this point, hands shooting up to pull at his duo-coloured hair, eyes darting between Techno and Phil, "-and what if I do something like let Dream out of the prison?! What if- what if he takes advantage of my enderwalk state again?! And- and I don't know when- I don't remember when I visited Dream in the prison but apparently I did and now Sam- Sam hates me and- and-" a hand lays itself gently on Ranboo's shoulder, stopping his rambling.</p>
<p>The hand belongs to Techno, and his eyes shine with empathy as he gazes down at the seated teen. "Ranboo, it's okay. I know how difficult it is to deal with voices, and I know you would never help Dream on your own accord. We can tell you have no control over this, and that isn't your fault," the older hybrid delicately brings Ranboo's hands away from his hair, wincing slightly at the blood coating his scalp and fingers. The boy had been digging his nails into his head while he was pulling at his hair.</p>
<p>Phil moves from his place at the table to get a cloth and a healing potion. "Techno's right, none of this is your fault, and we wouldn't be angry or upset with you if you did end up getting Dream out the prison. He's controlling you when you're vulnerable, and you clearly don't want to help him. Don't worry about it mate, we'll deal with it if it comes up. You're an ally and a friend. We'll protect you if anyone tries to hurt you."</p>
<p>The enderman hybrid gives a small smile, his body still shaking and tears still spilling out of his eyes, burning old scars that were never taken care of properly in the past. With the teen's attention on them, Techno and Phil use this as an opportunity to calm him down from his panic. They were aware this conversation was far from over, but it'd be especially cruel to continue the discussion of triggering topics with Ranboo while the boy is having a panic attack. In the back of his mind, Phil made a note to be more cautious when speaking with the young hybrid about Dream and his enderwalking state.</p>
<p>It takes quite a while, but eventually, the two men manage to get Ranboo to breathe normally again, with only slight tremors remaining. Phil gently pats the new tear burns on the teen's face and the crescent-shaped wounds on his scalp with a health-pot-soaked rag as Techno gathers the dishes from breakfast and begins to wash them. Once the wounds are treated and healed, the winged man provides a smile, moving to add more wood into the fireplace. Ranboo feels warmth bloom in his chest as he watches his friends work about domestically, picking up his abandoned blanket and wrapping it around his thin frame. The boy pushes the cozy fleece up to his chin and snuggles into it, the warmth in his chest spreading to encompass him completely and encase him in comfort. </p>
<p>The scene was almost comforting enough to allow them all to forget about what Dream may have done to Ranboo that would incite this much fear. Almost enough to allow them to forget about the immense amount of concern and anxiety hanging in the air, lingering. Almost enough for them to ignore the blood drying under Ranboo's nails that will be a hassle to scrub off without irritating his skin. At this moment, none of them dare speak and risk shattering the false aura of tranquillity that manifested to console a sobbing enderman hybrid child. </p>
<p>Later, Phil carefully and delicately washes off the dried blood from Ranboo's hands as Techno brushes out and braids two-toned hair. The cottage is filled with the aroma of freshly brewed chamomile and sweet hot chocolate, the sound of bright laughter bouncing off the insolated walls. Though unsaid, they all unanimously decide to stay in for today, organizing chests, reading up on mythology and battle tactics, and grooming a large but docile polar bear. Ranboo falls victim to sleep against said polar bear when the sun kisses the skyline and dips into the sea, and his mistress, the moon, rises from her slumber to signal to Mother Earth's children it's their turn to rest.</p>
<p>Techno sits beside the young hybrid, reading the story of Pandora's Box, sipping his coffee silently, lounging in his dress shirt and trousers, cape hung near the door. His glasses are slowly slipping down the bridge of his nose, but he's too engrossed in his novel to notice. Phil sits on the other side of Ranboo, writing plans and projects ideas and goals in a leather-bound journal, humming a tune centuries old and long forgotten. It's quiet, but not the tense quiet that enveloped the cottage earlier in the day. This quiet is gentle, promising, smelling of coffee beans and vanilla, and sounding of a crackling fire and soft, sleepy breaths.</p>
<p>The panic will most likely be back, sooner than later, as will the tension, they aren't naive. They're all well aware of what will take place at the dining table once more when Ranboo is deemed safe to address everything and have a proper discussion. But for now, they wallow in one another's company, letting the sweet, gentle notes from the jukebox caress the air as they wrap their hands around mugs filled with warm beverages and smile. For now, wars have no place in their minds, and the prison stays locked behind their desire to relax.</p>
<p>For now, they are happy, and they are safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hoped you liked this! I'll be posting more Ranboo, Techno, and Phil stuff. Feel free to give constructive criticism as I am still learning when it comes to writing. I may also do requests soon so keep an eye out for that! Bye &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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